August 11th 2023 Yesterday was like any other day. My husband went to work, I stayed home with our 2 girls. When evening came, I took our older daughter to cheerleading, where my younger daughter and I decided to get in a little walk around the block. After cheer was over we went to the grocery store where I picked up a rotisserie chicken and side salad. We got home around 7:30pm and my husband was already home, despite him saying he’d be at work till 8pm. I was pleasantly surprised to see him, but my usual cheerful greeting was stuck between a toddler tantrum and trying to get our bags and selves in the door. My husband appeared to be shuffling through containers and tin foil in the fridge. I can tell he’s irritated. Did we even do our welcome home kiss? I think to myself. I can’t remember. He asked what we had for dinner. I reply “we haven’t yet, I picked up chicken.” I perceived a smug look on his face. (Did I misinterpret?) I felt tension while I unbagged and put away our few items, while grabbing plates and whipping up some veggies for sides. I prepare 4 plates. Then ask him what type of chicken he wants. My initial thought was “Do you want crispy or grilled chicken, Brad?” With this face 😒 but I knew I wasn’t up for another battle (still recovering from the one I had 15 minutes prior with my 4 year old). I choose to say “Do you want crispy or grilled chicken, HONEY?” With this face 🥰.
He’s in the other room,
so he can’t actually see my face,
but he can hear it in my tone.
He responds, “crispy” with this face 😞. I fix him up a plate and he eats with our daughters while I continue making my own plate (it’s a little more complicated since I have dietary restrictions). He finishes first and comes to put his plate in the sink. I tell him I had planned for a fancier homemade side but wasn’t expecting him to be home before me. And he says “yep, home early.” With a trace of sarcasm. He hugs me. I can feel the heaviness of his heart. I ask what’s wrong, and what happened. And he responds, “I’m just beat.” So I ask if there’s anything I can do to help. I says “you fed me, that’s good enough.” Now I can be a very emotional person. And my face rarely says anything other than exactly what I’m feeling, but for a brief moment, I was so thankful that God gave me the strength the throw in that first “honey” when my flesh said “call him by his government name.” (Which btw, I rarely ever do unless I’m letting him know I’m annoyed.) But he didn’t need to know I was annoyed. He needed to know I was there for him. He needed to know that even if his tank is on empty, his wife is going to pour into him. I still don’t know what happened with this day, and he didn’t want to talk about it, but when he crawled into bed he hugged me tighter than usual. I’m not saying that as wives, we have to stuff our feelings down deep and always submit to our husbands mood, but I am saying that sometimes we need to prioritize Grace, let him be crabby so you can extend a hand of affection. You chose each other, and when you are kind and gentle (even when your flesh says to be cold and distant) you remind him of why he chose you. You won’t get it right every time, but the more often you try, the more often you will see moments of your husband leaning on you for strength. And the more willing you will become to put the tension aside and serve him. So here’s to today, look for a moment to extend Grace. Sometimes the ones who we think “don’t deserve it” are actually the ones who need it the most. Lord, I pray that you would Revive My Marriage. In Jesus’ name, Amen.